A Kiss Goodbye
by His Lil' Half-Blood Princess
Summary: Severus Snape is a traitor. He doesn't deserve anything. Especially not a soul... One-shot.


**A Kiss Goodbye**

**XxXxX**

They chain his hands behind his back with a brute force only a heartless prison guard can give. One of them unlocks the cell door and the other two lead him out, pushing and shoving him as he walks down the halls. Other prisoners turn their heads to look at him. Some spit at him as he passes. Others barely notice him. If he were to look at them, he would have recognized a few of them. But he looks only forward.

He has not been out of his cell for nearly two months. The last time was at his trial. It took them two months to decide his fate. And here it is.

He thought before, that once he stepped out of his cell, he would feel and air of freedom and relief. But he doesn't. Before, there was hope. Now there is none. Now he feels the weight of his chains and of his heavy heart and they bring him outside the prison. Onto the boat. And it rows away.

He is on the lower deck, looking out of the same window he's always looked out of, every time he's gone back and forth from this prison. He looks up into the night sky. The stars are twinkling and the moon is shining. He wishes he could fly out of the window and go far, far away. Away from this wicked life. He wishes he could fly to heaven, where the people he misses so dearly roam. His mother. Lily. Albus. There is nothing left for him here on earth. If he wants peace, he cannot find it here. His liberty is in his death. He wants death to come upon him.

He misses Minerva, though she is not dead. She is a part of his past life, before all was lost in despair. But when she passes on, she will know the truth. Then she will miss him too.

He leans his head against the wooden wall and tries to think about better times. When things were so much happier. Back then, he was ungrateful for the life he had. Now, he wanted it back more than anything in the world.

He shuts his eyes and a pair of blue eyes appear in his memory. Dark blue, sparkling eyes. The first pair he ever saw. His mother's. Filled with love and pride. And pain. But no matter how hard things became, she loved him.

But finally, she couldn't take it anymore. So she left him, by committing suicide.

Those eyes fade away and another pair appears. Green, almond-shaped eyes. His favorite eyes. Lily's. Filled with happiness and friendship. Sometimes disappointment. But no matter how different he became from her, she loved him.

But finally, she couldn't take it anymore. So she left him, by marrying James Potter.

And finally, another pair of eyes appear. The light blue eyes with that annoying twinkle. The older eyes. The Headmaster's eyes. Filled with hope and security. Sometimes with worry. But no matter how stressful things became, he loved him.

But finally, he couldn't take it anymore. So he left him, by commanding his faithful spy to kill him.

Everyone gave up on him, in the end.

He tries not to think of the painful memories, but it is too hard. They start to pass through his mind, like a slideshow. Finding his mother's dead body in her bedroom. Lily walking away from that tree in fifth year. The Dark Lord burning a dark tattoo into his forearm. Albus falling from the Astronomy Tower.

That was the worse memory of all.

And what hurts the most, was that he caused it.

By uttering two words, he changed the course of the world.

Words. Terrible words. Words that changed his life forever.

_"Mudblood."_

_"I want to become a Death Eater."_

_"Avada Kedavra."_

Words that he hadn't meant to say, but it was too late to take them back. Words that did him no good.

That brought more and more hurt. More and more agony.

He slowly dozes off as the boat rocks back and forth, calming him. He tries to imagine being a small boy, scared, with his mother to rock him back and forth.

Because he is scared. And compared to the world, he feels small. And vulnerable.

He puts his knees to his chest and the chains rattle, taking him out of his fantasy. Slowly, sleep overcomes him and he dreams.

His sleep is not plagued with nightmares, like expected, but instead with happy memories. It comforts him. He wakes up to see the sun streaming in his window. He wipes his eyes to find his cheeks wet. He's been crying. Not out of fear (though he is scared), but out of despair. Those things will never happen again. His mother would never hold him again. Lily would never laugh with him again. Albus would never talk with him again. It was all gone. Gone. Just another wind in the storm of life, blowing off in a distant direction.

He wonders if they are close to England now, but he cannot tell. The window looks up at the sky so he cannot see where they are. But he has taken this journey many times and knows that can't be much farther. His hearts starts pounding rapidly.

A half an hour later, the boats comes to an abrupt stop. He is frightened of what is yet to come. Will it be painful? Will he even be conscious?

They lead him out of the boat and down the street to the Ministry under a Disillusion Charm. When they reach the Ministry, they take the charm off and he is lead down the halls in plain sight. There are flashes of light from cameras around. He'll be front page news tomorrow. But he will not know it.

They lead him into the courtroom. There are so many people there. He looks around- Minerva! She's here! Why is she here? Can she help him? Does she know?

They throw him into a chair and chain him to it. The Minister goes up to the podium and slams the gavel against it. He gives an introduction speech about why they are here, why they have come to this conclusion, and what Severus Snape has done. Then, when they are about ready, he says, "Does anyone object to this?" His voice is lazy, for he knows no one will speak.

Severus's black eyes shoot over to Minerva and her hazel one's lock with his. He tries to convey a message, but she blocks him out. No. She does not want him. She believes his deserves this. He cannot believe it.

A few more seconds go by, but they feel like hours to him. Finally, the Minster speaks again. "Very well then. Bring it in."

It comes in, its hood over its head, but not for much longer. It floats in front of Severus, who is terrified. "Do you have any last words?"

What could he say? That he's innocent? That he's sorry? What is there to say? Nothing. Nothing that will make a difference. Looking at the ground, he shakes his head. No. he has nothing to say.

"All right then. Proceed."

Those are the last words he hears and understands.

It comes closer to him and he is in despair. It is sucking every good memory out of him. Every single one. He is left with nothing to comfort him. It comes closer and closer and he suddenly feels the bad memories leaving too. Everything is leaving. One after another, leaving him.

And finally, he is empty.

_Fin._


End file.
